Events that have an impact on your relationship – Part 2

In the previous blog, I wrote about balance and disbalance in relationships and what impact this has on a relationship. It is about giving and taking, but what if one person gives much more than the other? I’ll tell you more in this blog by describing situations that impact the current relationship if nobody pays attention to it.

Events that have an impact on your relationship – Part 1

Various events that happen while being in a relationship have an impact on that relationship. This can be an affair, the loss of a job, the passing of one of the parents, or a disbalance in giving and taking. In the following few blogs, I’ll tell you everything about the different levels of impact. Today I’ll describe the first level: what happened in the current relationship that didn’t get any attention?

Attachment: a short introduction

When you get into a relationship, you leave family norms and values behind, and one of the partners tries to get something from the other that he/she could not get from his/her parents. And yes, the other person has a lot of influence on your relationship. But: the attachment style you have with your parents also has a lot of influence. In this blog I’ll give you a short introduction about the different attachment styles and how a Systemic Ritual can help with that.

Systemic Ritual for cross-cultural and non-traditional relationships

When two people come together and start being a couple, both of them will have that loyalty to their family of origin. Two different perspectives come together, that will want to move forward on a shared path.

The parent-child relationship and the impact on partner relationships

Not a single parent is perfect. Even if your father and mother would have been some kind of Buddhas, they wouldn’t have been ideal for you. Even Buddhas aren’t capable of giving a child what it needs, since the needs of a child are endless. Besides that, parents have their obligations and responsibilities towards their children. This means that they can’t just fulfil all their child’s needs. The result is that everyone of us has a jar of unfulfilled needs that has to be filled by something or someone else.

Relationships – The perspective from systemic constellations

A couple relationship isn’t a relationship between two people, but a relationship between many people. Think of it as the congregation of two planets: each planet is connected to a bigger picture. As human beings, we’re also part of a bigger picture: a family, a living environment, a country, a culture. When you’re in a couple relationship, you will also deal with his or her family, living environment, culture, etc.

Multiple souls

Photo:Design: Alma MekkingPaintings by: David Ridley Every culture and religion believes in a concept of the soul or whatever it is called. There is a belief that we are more than our body and that we also have a soul, which continues after the body’s death and returns to where it once came from.In shamanisticContinue reading “Multiple souls”


Our ancestors – who are they? In a narrow sense, our ancestors are our relatives with whom we have a blood relationship. In a broader sense, it also means joint relatives from earlier times, from which we descend collectively – as humanity, nation, community, population group. This blog is about the first definition – theContinue reading “Ancestors”

What are family constellations?

Family constellations is a method in which the relationships and hidden dynamics between family members are made visible. And even more than making it visible is that a constellation works towards a healing resolution. That is the point where a new, more natural and healing balance for the whole system is found. The point where love between all members can flow again.
I like to say that a family constellation works with the family soul or family karma. A constellation reveals what is happening in the family soul and heals that soul.